i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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