normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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