Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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