I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
