I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
