She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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