dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
