A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
