My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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