Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
