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Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
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