I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?