Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
its like you know when i get waxed