Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize