Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"

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(512): Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo" http://tfl.nu/rorc

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(214): View more from Texas

On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

(1-214): View more from Texas

You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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(214): On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi. (1-214): You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously http://tfl.nu/z61a

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(706): View more from Georgia

so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

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(706): so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess http://tfl.nu/py20

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj

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(617): anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj http://tfl.nu/74ok

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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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(614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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(403): "Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/bmms

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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(201): bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid http://tfl.nu/hxiy

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(907): View more from Alaska

We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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(907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b

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(925): View more from California

We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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(925): We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro http://tfl.nu/hanl

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(703): View more from Virginia

I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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(703): I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face. http://tfl.nu/cgkz

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again

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(704): Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again http://tfl.nu/mnjw

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(310): View more from California

Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

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(310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc

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(330): View more from Ohio

Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma

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(330): Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma http://tfl.nu/lbww

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(586): View more from Michigan

Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......

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(586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet...... http://tfl.nu/yh71

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(310): View more from California

Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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(310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w

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