I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Damn victory sex feels great
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
