So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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