I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
