OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize