just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
