I wish my penis had an off switch
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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