So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
