its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
