he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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