Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
