my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
