Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize