Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
