just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
