relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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