I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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