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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Are you dead

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Yes

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Oh man

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me

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• (707): View more from California

  Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.

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