Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a
  Replies (44) Good night (2235) Bad night (6235)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me. http://tfl.nu/tzej
  Replies (9) Good night (5318) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game? http://tfl.nu/evbk
  Replies (317) Good night (7345) Bad night (1911)
• Favorite

  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
  Replies (13) Good night (3468) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that http://tfl.nu/9wbc
  Replies (2) Good night (956) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing? http://tfl.nu/oh1w
  Replies (11) Good night (904) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr
  Replies (8) Good night (1336) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (939) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories" http://tfl.nu/in2x
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+81): I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers. http://tfl.nu/u6ab
  Replies (1) Good night (690) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved? http://tfl.nu/lfe1
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line. http://tfl.nu/ezy6
  Replies (0) Good night (239) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid http://tfl.nu/rspn
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal http://tfl.nu/nbrc
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (166)

Randomize