we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal