wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....