i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.