I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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