Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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  (508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9
  Replies (37) Good night (2258) Bad night (892)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?

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  (770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette? http://tfl.nu/jrlp
  Replies (88) Good night (1428) Bad night (10534)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

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  (978): i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day http://tfl.nu/1bya
  Replies (27) Good night (4110) Bad night (510)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

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  (484): you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans http://tfl.nu/5hx4
  Replies (7) Good night (3187) Bad night (838)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.

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  (515): His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him. http://tfl.nu/q8r5
  Replies (10) Good night (3741) Bad night (1165)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

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  (850): I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever. http://tfl.nu/5f06
  Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (1835)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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  (308): I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him http://tfl.nu/5d11
  Replies (2) Good night (1346) Bad night (719)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (1588)
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  (707): View more from California

  After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.

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  (707): After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage. http://tfl.nu/9jeb
  Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (536)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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  (970): The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful http://tfl.nu/mqfz
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (402)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit

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  (402): You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit http://tfl.nu/nx74
  Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (474)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

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  (917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (439)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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  (330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms
  Replies (4) Good night (345) Bad night (823)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

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  (208): I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know? http://tfl.nu/ulgs
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (342)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.

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  (918): Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have. http://tfl.nu/nuc7
  Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (359)

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