Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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