i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
