I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
