So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
