one might say we're banned from that church
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Floor bacon is actually really good
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