"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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