i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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