Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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