I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Randomize
