Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
