You smell like stripper and shame
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
