i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
