All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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