I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
