Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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