I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
