i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm always down for nudity.
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