there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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