he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
