Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
