From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
