It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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