I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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