There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize