I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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