I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
