did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
