he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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