im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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