Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
