This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
