How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
