Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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