he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
