This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
