Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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