if you like me you must not know who I am
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
