She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
