I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you traded sex for a burrito?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
