the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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