Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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