i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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