Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
im on a boat
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